Emote Well

Words: Dr Rajgopal NIDAMBOOR

For most of us being calm in the face of difficulty is tantamount to emotional maturity, or serenity. Emotional maturity, however, is more than what meets the eye and mind. It relates to a state that exemplifies being in control, or animated, being responsive, or receptive to others, and being protected in our own individuality. Emotional maturity is more than acquiescence of the self and paradigms that we use to meet our needs and wants, including a variety of pressures and stresses of everyday life.

Being tolerant, flexible and unbiased is emotional serenity — it celebrates a pragmatic view of the self and others. It also synchronises a sense of awareness of what you will, or will not agree to. When one is emotionally mature, one can be in charge and desist from hurting others in emotionally charged, or stressful, situations. The more emotionally self-assured you are, or the more composed, the better you will be able to handle unconstructive comments from others. Besides, you will be able to assess their ‘hidden agenda’ without being hostile.

All of us should aspire to be emotionally mature individuals. When we attempt and reach a certain level, if not the highest level, we will be able to accept the fact that life is not always reasonable, yet wonderful. When we, likewise, keep improving our maturity level and use it as a lifelong objective, we will be able to reach the next altitude — taking responsibility for our actions and consequences. Living is just not enough; we should aim to live an emotionally tranquil life. This will teach and permit us to see things, as they are, not what they ought to be. This will also help us to experience a sense of connectedness with others and with ourselves.

Emotional maturity lets us to move up the ladder of personal growth; it purges our unwanted baggage. It instils a modicum of purpose — a process of self-discovery that allows us to resonate and jazz, when we are alone, or when others are around, without losing our nerve, or feeling diffident. You don’t articulate your opinions, or concur, with others to avoid a negative response. When you, likewise, begin to convey your creativity, you will not so much worry about ‘off-putting’ reactions. You will aim at how well, how quickly, and how best you would complete the given job.

All of this will work only when you liberate the discomfiture of being who you really are. Sometimes, most of us, if not all of us, feel awkward showing our true self. This is not good. We should let others know who we are and what our talents and interests are. This will be rewarding. Well, even the legendary wordsmith William Shakespeare would have marketed his books, if he had lived in our age. In other words, you need to elevate the core of your personality — of what is called the spirit, emotions, feelings and willpower. Emotions make us what we are, or who we are — they need to be ‘discharged.’ Not piled up. They are the most powerful engines of our behaviour. There cannot be life without emotions.

The next big step one should take to become emotionally mature is to change, or reinvent, one’s thinking and behaviour. When you establish and strengthen this emotional resolve, you will find renewed happiness in your life. You will begin to develop a good rapport with yourself. You will start to determine who you really are without your over-sentimental suitcase. You will discover yourself. You will be able to remember your past and focus on your future, while living in the present.

Dr RAJGOPAL NIDAMBOOR, PhD, is a wellness physician-writer-editor, independent researcher, critic, columnist, author and publisher. His published work includes hundreds of newspaper, magazine, web articles, essays, meditations, columns, and critiques on a host of subjects, eight books on natural health, two coffee table tomes and an encyclopaedic treatise on Indian philosophy. He is Chief Wellness Officer, Docco360 — a mobile health application/platform connecting patients with Ayurveda, homeopathic and Unani physicians, and nutrition therapists, among others, from the comfort of their home — and, Editor-in-Chief, ThinkWellness360.

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